Introducing your toddler to the new baby

Now that I've got a 2 year old and a 3 month old to worry about at the same time, I understand that its very overwhelming to introduce a toddler to the family's new addition. Here are some tips that helped me (and continue to help me as my toddler becomes acquainted with his sibling) when I brought Jiro home from the hospital to meet Tachi, his big brother. I hope these tips are helpful for you!

1.   Prepare your toddler during your pregnancy by talking about the new baby and playing "baby" with stuffed animals or dolls. Pretend to rock the baby, burp the baby, change the baby. Talk to your toddler about how he/she is going to be a big brother or sister and how they are going to be Mommy's helper. 
2. When you are in the early stages of introducing your toddler to their sibling, encourage him/her to be involved in caring for the baby. Don't be disappointed if they are completely uninterested in their new sibling for the first week or so. This is when you need to set aside time to pay special attention to your toddler. 
3. When relatives/friends come to meet the new baby, make sure they visit with your toddler first so that he/she feels important and loves. Include your toddler, and refer to them by their name instead of "big brother" or "big sister." 
4. Talk to your toddler as you do things for the new baby. Explain to them what you are doing and why. Tell them about the baby and practice saying the baby's name. Let your toddler pet, kiss and cuddle the baby. Use words like "gentle," "easy," and "nice." Praise them for showing affection to the baby and tell them how good of a sibling they are.
5. If your toddler shows interest (and if they are able to), let them hold the bottle for the baby. Ask them to grab a pacifier or to bring you a diaper. Be sure to thank them for their help. (My toddler loves to throw the dirty diapers in the trash for me and brings the bottle to me when it is out of reach. He is very helpful)
6. Include everyone when its "tummy time" for your new baby. Mommy, toddler and baby can all have tummy time while playing with small toys together. Baby will lift his/her head up to watch the toys. As your toddler gets more adjusted, encourage them to share toys and interact with their growing sibling.
7. If your toddler goes through a phase where they want to be "babied," that's okay. Baby them occasionally. My toddler wanted me to hold his sippy cup for him like a bottle, and that's okay if you don't make a habit of it. Cuddle and show affection to your toddler as often as possible. Remind them that they are your baby, too.
8. Last but not least, RELAX. If you are anxious whenever your toddler gets near the new baby, your toddler will pick up on that and will adopt those feelings as their own. If you are relaxed and at ease, your toddler will know that you trust him/her around the baby and they will be less likely to act out in a negative way.  

Tachi helping me with feeding Jiro and playing with Jiro during tummy time.

Announcing Jiro...

It's been a while since my last post. Not only are we coming up on Tachi's 2nd birthday but we've also welcomed a tiny new addition to our family...

Jiro Wayne 

Born September 1st, 2013

8 lbs. 6 oz. 20"

time goes by so fast...1st bday party planning

So here I am, finally have some time and things to post. I can't believe that Tachi is going to be a year old on October 4th. I've been debating party ideas, locations, themes and such with myself for the past week and I've finally decided on doing it at our house. He's too young to enjoy the terrifying experiences of giant fuzzy Chuck E Cheese mascots right now, and I really love DIY stuff so I decided that Totoro (from the animated movie 'My Neighbor Totoro') would be a good theme. The leaves and acorns in the movie go well with a fall birthday party, and the characters are very cute and baby relate-able. Anyways, I'm putting together my own templates and examples for this theme to share with you all. I should have some of the decorations, ideas and DIY instructions posted in the next few weeks leading up to his birthday party. Until then, I've got my hands full with a Tachi whom has just discovered the idea of tantrums

tummy time troubles

So Tachi is over 7 months old now and he is still having trouble rolling over and, even though he has tummy time for 30 minutes everyday, I haven't seen him start to get his knees under himself or rock like most babies do when they're beginning to crawl. According to books that I've read, it's very common for babies in this "anti-SIDS" generation to completely skip crawling and go straight to pulling themselves up and walking, because we no longer put our babies to sleep on their stomachs.

Anyways, its always a huge challenge to keep Tachi content during tummy time - even when I'm encouraging him with toys and praising him, he still starts crying out of frustration after only 10 minutes on his stomach. Thus, I started reading up on it and tried to find ways to make tummy time a more pleasant experience for him. I do have a few tricks up my sleeve now that work very well, but if anyone has any tips I would love to read about it if you leave a comment.

For now, a few things that I'm finding to be helpful is to lie on my stomach with him. Its also very helpful to have a few toys nearby to amuse; a floor mirror is probably the most helpful toy for tummy time in my case. Other than that, and dealing with teething, there isn't much for me to blog about at this moment. I've been going through some things and it makes it hard for me to do much (like blog), but it will hopefully be getting better soon so no worries. In the meantime, I would love to hear from some of the mothers that read my blog in the comments.

Before I was a Mom...

Since Mother's Day is this weekend, I thought I would share one of my favorite poems that I first read at my good friend Emily's house. She had the poem framed on her wall. I've found that poem on the internet. Unfortunatly, the author of this poem is unknown so I cannot give them credit here. I hope you enjoy the poem while I continue adding to the blog. Happy Mother's Day to all of you wonderful Mamas' out there!

Before I was a Mom…

Author Unknown

Before I was a Mom…
I made and ate hot meals.
I had unstained clothing.
I had quiet conversations on the phone.

Before I was a Mom…
I slept as late as I wanted
And never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth every day.

Before I was a Mom…
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words of lullabies.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never been puked on,
Pooped on, Spit on, Chewed on, Peed on
Or pinched by tiny fingers

Before I was a Mom…

I had complete control of:

My thoughts,

My body,

And my mind.I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held down a screaming child
So that doctors could do tests or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom…
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small,
Could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom…
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a Mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.

Before I was a Mom…
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth,

The joy,

The love,

The heartache,

The wonder,
Or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much

Before I was a Mom...

What I learned about babies and airplanes

A few weeks ago, I was daunted with the task of flying to visit family in Vegas with Tachi (now 5 months old) for his very first airplane experience, without the help of my husband. He had to work so I was mortified at the prospect of having to get both Tachi and I through the airport, let alone get myself through the airport (which hasn't always been my best skill).

I must have packed everything I could possibly need into his diaper bag thinking that it would be useful. By now, I'm at the airport trying to juggle a stroller, diaper bag, baby, etc. Trust me on this one. Less is more! The only things that I really found useful were:

The stroller of course, a couple bibs and change of cloths, about 6 diapers, wipes, arm'n'hammer dirty diaper bags, 1 or 2 bottles with the formula ALREADY measured out, pacifiers, and a few toys for the ordeal. I'll leave it at that for now. Unless you are going to China and will be on a long long long flight, fight that urge to cram everything into your carry-on that you know will just get all shoved around on the flight. If your baby is in your lap, it's hard to dig down into your diaper bag anyways.

domestically challenged?

Even before becoming a mom, my depression made it overwhelming to even get out of bed - let alone get anything done. Becoming a mom has probably been the biggest motivation for me because even though depression tends to keep you from caring about yourself, the responsibility of having my baby depend on me actually helps me want to care for myself too. I want him to be happy and healthy, and I also want to be happy and healthy for him. Slowly but surely, I've learned many motivational skills to help me get up and going when I feel like lying around all day. One of my biggest motivations is remembering how much better I will feel once I have gotten things done.

 Make this your Mantra:
Even if I only do a few small things, it makes me feel better about myself. The better I feel about myself, the more motivated I will become.

Here is just one of the techniques I use myself when doing housework:
The biggest mistake to make is to try to list or make a plan of action for tackling everything you want to get done. I often find myself spending more time planning my housework than I spend actually cleaning. That is the best way to overwhelm yourself, which can quickly send you into a complete shut-down that will keep you from doing anything at all. Don't think about getting everything done. Start with ONE small short-term goal and do not think about any other task until the first is finished. When I say "small," I don't mean: "I will get all of the laundry done." This is a perfect example of getting ahead of yourself. Instead, focus on only a portion of the task. For example: "By lunch time I will have a load of laundry in the wash while I fold an put away ONE stack of laundry." By only looking at that one small portion of the job, you feel less overwhelmed and actually get the entire job done faster. Once you have completed your first goal, make another small goal...and another..and another. Even if you haven't cleaned the entire house, you've gotten some things done and that is much better than getting overwhelmed and not doing anything at all.

This is actually the technique that professional organizers use to teach people to clear large amounts of clutter from their homes. You may have seen something similar on television shows about hoarders. They suggest draping a sheet over the pile, while leaving a small portion of the junk uncovered. That way you start by only sorting through the uncovered part, without becoming overwhelmed by seeing or thinking about the entire mess. Once you've finished clearing that little area, you continue to uncover the pile - bit by bit, until the job is finished. The same concept can be applied to anything. So instead of expecting everything to get done, just focus on one task at a time and don't feel guilty or ashamed when even the simplest of tasks feel impossible

(I was inspired to write about this topic when giving advice to a fellow mother asking for motivation on a BabyCenter forum called "Lazy Wives")

"Now, I definitely still am quite the lazy wife...but there is a way to be lazy and get things done at the same time. Just go at your own pace and don't expect yourself to get everything done. Surprisingly, when you don't expect to get much done, you actually end up doing a lot more than you would have with that "stepford wife" mentality." - part of my response to the Lazy Wives Club Posting on the topic of motivation.

learning more & more as Tachi grows



 Tachi has grown so much since my last post and he is now 2 and a half months old. I've been busy settling him and myself into a routine, but I think we finally have a predictable schedule most of the time. This post will be a short one. Just wanted to update everyone on how Tachi is doing, and he is doing very well. He has quite the little personality - already smiling, cooing, playing with toys and such. As for myself, I am growing as a mother everyday and learning so much since Tachi was born. Hopefully I will get some time to post a more in-depth blog later tonight or tomorrow, so check back! That's all for right now. Thank you all for reading.

eat, sleep, poop, repeat

In order to get a feel for what Tachi's routine, I've tried a few different ways of logging his feedings, diaper changes, and sleeping patterns. At first I was using these printable logs from thebump.com, but printing them out for each day got to be a hassle and pretty wasteful. However, they are very useful should you choose to try them. I am still using the sleep tracker, which doesn't need to be re-printed much because it charts at least 2 weeks. The emergency info print-out is nice too and I have it posted by the phone.

Sleep Tracker Print-out
Bottle Feeding (input/output) tracker print-out
Breastfeeding Tracker print-out
Emergency Info Print-out

As far as keeping track of dirty diapers, I've come up with my own very simple system. All you need is an envelope, yellow and brown paper, and two paper clips. After that, you can re-use it over and over again. Here is what mine looks like:
Just cut out about 12 squares of yellow and 8 squares of brown. Of course, yellow represents one wet diaper and brown represents a BM. Paperclip them to your envelope. Each time you change a diaper, simply put a square in the envelope accordingly. At the end of the day, count the squares and record the number of wet diapers and BMs. Then paperclip the squares back to the outside of your envelope and they are ready for tomorrow.

settling into motherhood

It has been exactly 9 days since I gave birth to my first - a beautiful baby boy named Tachi. I wasn't sure how well my instincts would kick in after labor, but to my delight I have taken to this whole motherhood thing extremely well. Actually, I've discovered I have quite a knack for mothering and all the things that come with the keeping and organization of home. Before I had my son, my life as a housewife really didn't require me to do much of anything. I am actually very much enjoying all the new chaos and hustle of my new lifestyle. I know that the urge to nest is normal, but having this new purpose in my life has been so motivating. All of my time has been spent, of course, taking care of Tachi - but also a great deal of organizing, planning/preparing, adapting and settling into my own mommy system (which is constantly evolving as I experiment and perfect it) in order to continue being productive in the most effective, efficient, and practical way. As I've been establishing this new system of my own while also searching the best resources for moms like myself (and generally anyone who is looking to conveniently organize their life) I've noticed that there really isn't much in the ways of good resources available in one place. Hence, I thought it would be nice to blog all of the useful tools and ideas that I've come up with, as well as the best resources I find on the internet. I hope that this blog will be helpful to my readers so that we can all better the quality of life for ourselves and for our families. So, please do continue to visit this blog as it grows and fills with tons of information and resources (such as downloads, print-outs, and other tools for moms and dads alike).